October 14, 2004-Pat's journal

“Somewhere” by Patrick Thompson
(the new brain tumor found) October 14, 2004

One of my favorite songs is, “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”. I know that is odd but this song almost more than any seems to always bring me a sense of calmness regardless of the destruction taking place inside me. I believe this place “over the rainbow” is heaven, and that it is the place where I will be found someday by fellow believers. Sometimes I sit in my office late into the night and early into the morning playing this song over and over again.

“Someday I will wake up upon a star where the clouds are far behind me”. I will wake up in the arms of Jesus holding me as he did when Thomas, mom, John and I lost our home and everything we owned. As he did when I was 10 and I found myself face down passed out on the peewee football field, the beginning of my cancer battle. He was there when I was finally old enough to know what the word Cancer meant. He was there on that soccer field at Baylor U. when my leg bones snapped in half at the first hit from the other team. That hit started the the cancer in my jaw to start growing aggressively. He was there the night my Uncle Charlie, my cancer buddy went to be with Him. He has been there through each heartbreak and disappointment in my life, each challenge faced. Every tear HE has wiped away, even now with my current brain tumor. He has been there in each defeat of my life. In defeat we find victory, victory through Jesus.

As I see it (and I’m far from a Bible scholar) the Victory is (regardless of falling and being knocked down and being bruised) eventually getting back up, getting back in. The bruises eventually go away. Sometimes you are left with a scar but doesn’t that make you stronger? Jesus’ body was full of scars and He got back up only to receive three more on His hands and feet that changed mankind.

“Someday I’ll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me”…

Wake up in the arms of Jesus with scars, but completely healed.

Uncharted Waters

I have been meaning to do this for a long while...but I have instead saved and strewn many tidbits of papers, post its, Word writings, scribbles and notes to myself simply all over my world. It will take me months to gather them all up and put them in order. Until then, here is the place I am committing to place all new thoughts. If and when I come across all of the older ones, they will join the others here. Someday soon I will have The Book.

The Book-let me explain. I have been writing TB since 1984. Along the way I decided there were several books. Some full of short stories, some vignettes and some journaling of the incredible journey I have been on-all non fiction. People have told me I should label my book as fiction since one would find it hard to read believing it is all true, but it is. 

Then, as many of you know, Patrick died. The notes and writings on all of our grief has became a journey of it's own as I listen to so many tell me their feelings as they also struggle through his leaving. Then when I gathered all his journals together I saw a bigger book. I encourage you who knew him to send me stories and laughter and encouraging words he gave you also. His book has become The Book.

His yearning was to be remembered. We must remember him. We must continue to share his dreams and encouragement and laughter....because saints cannot be buried.